


Oil and Water

by tinkertoysdamn



Series: Duel [3]
Category: Lupin III
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Heist, M/M, Not Beta Read, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Ridiculous Plot, Sexual Content, Some Humor, canon typical goofiness, poorly researched
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 01:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6308554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkertoysdamn/pseuds/tinkertoysdamn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So in the comments for one of the other stories in "Duel" I said something about writing a proper heist story, this is it.</p>
<p>Lupin has a plan for a good score on an island in the Mediterranean and wants all of his favorite people to join him.  Jigen's just glad that there isn't a woman involved other than Fujiko.  But, per usual, Lupin isn't telling them everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's a Marvelous Night for a Moondance

Jigen stood on the balcony, enjoying a post supper smoke with the scent of the Mediterranean on the breeze. He couldn’t see the water from the apartment but he could hear it, the waves lapping against the beach and the cries of birds. His stomach was full with chicken-- something French that he couldn’t pronounce-- that Lupin had deigned to cook. 

The meal was excellent, enough so that even Fujiko of the sophisticated palate had leaned forward, asking Lupin for the recipe. He had murmured to her in French and, as far as Jigen could tell from her pout, the thief had refused her. 

Lupin didn’t refuse her much; that was one of the few sticking points that Jigen had about their relationship. Otherwise, as he thought back on eight years of ill-gotten gains, chicanery and near death, Jigen was content. Before Lupin he had just been a hired gun, muscle used to eliminate an opponent or intimidate the competition; now he was a partner and trusted confidant. It had taken time, but as Jigen heard the slap of Fujiko’s hands swatting Lupin away he could finally admit that his regard for his boss was not exactly professional.

To be fair, their conduct with each other never was nor never had been professional. Tumbling into bed with Lupin after trying to kill him then doing it again after their first heist together did not set a pattern for businesslike behavior. Let alone all the other countless times Lupin would coax Jigen into a compromising position or he would be unable to contain himself any longer and pin the thief (who was usually laughing at him by this time) to the nearest mattress.

Then there was Fujiko. Every time the woman appeared Lupin would chase after her like she was the Holy Grail. Sometimes she would give him the satisfaction of her company but she mostly dodged his advances and made off with whatever loot Lupin had worked so hard to gain. When she disappeared Lupin would again turn to his loyal gunman with a shrug of the shoulders. Despite the frequency of the pattern, Jigen didn’t feel like he was a rebound when Lupin came back around. 

There was too much affection in Lupin’s laugh, too much eagerness in his kisses and his touch for Jigen to feel like he was just being used. The older man couldn’t quite pin down what Lupin felt for him or for Fujiko. It disturbed him more than he cared to admit. 

Jigen resented Fujiko for stealing Lupin’s time and money but he couldn’t bring himself to hate her. He disliked her intensely, but she had pulled their fat out of the fire enough times to earn some respect, even if she betrayed them just as often.

He exhaled, the smoke curling in the breeze, drifting up and out into the clear night. He was tired of the sound of the ocean and his own thoughts. Jigen stubbed out the cigarette, making his way back into the apartment.

Lupin and Fujiko were on the couch, his arm around her shoulders, her finger tracing patterns on his chest. “Come on,” she said, her voice husky, “not even a hint?”

“Nope,” Lupin replied, “I’m not saying a thing until Goemon arrives tomorrow.”

Fujiko turned up the charm, pressing a full breast firmly against him. “Anything worth saying is worth repeating, right?”

The thief shook his head, holding her chin with his finger and thumb. “But that doesn’t mean the audience will listen, Fujicakes.” Theatrics were in Lupin’s blood; three generations of thieves would not be denied a moment to perform, even a little one. There was also the distinct possibility that he didn’t want his beautiful rival to jump the gun. 

The answer dissatisfied Fujiko, who pushed herself off of her sometimes paramour. “If that’s the way you’re going to be then I’m going out,” she said. She rose to her feet, placing one leg up on the couch to afford Lupin a full view as she adjusted her stockings. 

Lupin reached out his grabby hands to help her. “We’ll make a night of it.”

The voluptuous redhead (although Jigen was loathe to admit it, it was the color he thought best suited her) aborted the grope with a huff. “I have business to attend to,” she said. 

With the way her dress clung to her figure, Jigen had a good idea what sort of business she meant. He couldn’t resist taking a jab at her: “Is that what you’re calling catting around these days?”

Fujiko shot him an ugly look but the rebuke from Lupin hurt far worse. “Don’t,” the thief warned with a pointed finger at his partner. He turned his attention back to the woman, his face pleading. “Come on Fujiko, it’s just one more day.” 

“I do have some things to settle here before the job,” she insisted. Fujiko threw her purse over her shoulder. “I’ll be back in the morning.” She blew Lupin a kiss then made her exit, hips swaying.

The thief watched her leave, his grin perverse. “You know, I can’t always say that I’m sorry to see her go.”

Jigen decided to ignore that. “You going to chase after her?”

Lupin sat back on the couch as if thinking about it for a moment. He crossed his legs, foot bouncing with nervous energy. The decision only took a few seconds. “I’ve got some things to take care of,” Lupin said, “don’t wait up.”

The door slammed and with that he was gone. The gunman felt his stomach churn with jealousy; hating that this was happening again. Yes, Lupin always came back but it still stung. 

Jigen then noticed that the table and kitchen were still a mess. Like hell he was going to clean up after everyone like a maid. He grabbed the still open bottle of wine from dinner and plopped down in the armchair before the TV. He found an American action movie with Greek subtitles then settled in for the night.

He didn’t remember falling asleep but when he opened his eyes the television was off. The bottle of wine was empty; apparently he had finished it off. There was noise in the kitchen behind him, not sinister but someone was definitely moving around. Jigen eyed the clock; it was after ten. He got to his feet curious about what was going on at this hour

Lupin stood at the sink, his jacket off, black sleeves rolled up to his forearms, tie loose and neck unbuttoned. He was scrubbing the dishes from dinner, a pensive look on his face like he was thinking things through. 

The gunman leaned against the doorway, watching as Lupin did something perfectly normal. This was a man who had broken into vaults all over the world; this was a man with a brain that could concoct a complicated plan, adjusting for change in seconds; this was a man who could afford the same care with a set of plates as he did with precious jewels. Jigen realized that he could watch Lupin do anything fantastic or mundane and still be a little awed by it. He was in deep. 

“Hey,” Jigen said, willing himself to break the spell.

Lupin looked up at the greeting, gracing Jigen with a small smile. “I thought you were going to spend all night in the chair.”

Jigen tried to ignore the lump in his throat. “Couldn’t sleep with you making all that noise,” he bluffed.

Lupin scoffed, setting a pot in the drainer. “Right, I’m as quiet as a mouse.”

Jigen didn’t want to ask, but he did: “So, did you find Fujiko?” 

The thief seemed surprised at the inquiry. “Fujicakes? Nah, I was finishing up our new passports and disguises for the big reveal tomorrow,” Lupin said.

“Passports?” Jigen asked, he was ashamed at how relieved he was. “Where are we going?”

Lupin waved a soapy finger at Jigen in a “don’t be a naughty boy” gesture. “I didn’t tell Fujiko early, what makes you think I’ll tell you?”

Knowing that Lupin hadn’t chased after the woman made Jigen feel bold. He pushed himself forward, stepping into the thief’s space, forcing Lupin’s back against the sink. “Because you like me better?”

Lupin laughed. He cupped the back of Jigen’s neck with his wet, warm hands. “Nice try,” Lupin kissed the tip of Jigen’s nose, “but I’m not revealing my secrets.”

Sounding a hell of a lot more smooth than he felt Jigen said, “Who says I want your secrets?” 

This time when Lupin kissed him Jigen found it hard to breathe. It was easy to forget sometimes with Lupin’s goofy demeanor that he could be charming as hell when he wanted to. Within seconds he could go from outrageous flirt to romantic hero. Lupin usually used this to disarm or, in some cases, even comfort a damsel in distress. The thief had a weakness for women, it didn’t matter if he wanted to fuck them or help them he would do whatever was in his power for them. 

Jigen had seen this time and time again but he would be a liar if he said that he was immune to Lupin’s charisma. Or to the way that Lupin slid his hand down the front of Jigen’s pants; Christ the man was fast. “What do you want, Jigen-chan?” Lupin asked, his voice breathy and teasing. 

Jigen wasn’t sure if he wanted to punch him or fuck him for that damned nickname. He cupped Lupin’s ass and hauled him up against the edge of the sink. The thief grinned, wrapping his legs around Jigen’s waist. This was better, less talking more grinding. 

Lupin’s mouth was hot, wet and demanding, the movement of his hips an order. Years of working and screwing together had given them an edge in silent communication and Jigen was receiving the message loud and clear. A few fumbling moments with the soap later and Jigen’s fingers were spreading Lupin open. The thief’s eyes were closed as he bit his lower lip. 

Jigen could have watched this all night but a small sound from the other room startled him. He turned his head, his eyes peering through the dark. Did he just see a flash of red hair? 

He jumped as Lupin’s teeth scraped the side of his neck. Holy hell, Lupin was going to be the death of him. “The party’s over here,” Lupin said, those shifty eyes half-lidded as he squeezed down on the fingers inside him. Jigen suddenly found himself unable to be concerned about what he may or may not have seen.


	2. Darlin' Won't You Ease My Worried Mind?

Breakfast the next morning was awkward. Lupin stumbled out of the bedroom half-dressed and looking none the worse for wear after the previous night’s activities while Jigen’s joints felt like they had taken a beating. He could only be so envious at his partner’s youth and flexibility before his stomach reminded him that he desperately needed food.

Jigen took it upon himself to fry up some bacon and eggs while Lupin sat at the table, reading over an English language newspaper. Fujiko showed up just as Jigen had finished brewing coffee, sliding into a seat right next to Lupin. 

Jigen couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed. He knew that she would be back and, quite frankly, last night had put him in a relatively chipper mood. He set down some cups of coffee in front of the others before turning his attention back to cooking. Lupin took his coffee, sniffed it and went to the sink to dilute it with some hot water. Fujiko took her distain a few steps further and not only got up to add water but also cream and sugar.

The gunman scoffed, they were both pansies. At least he knew they wouldn’t turn their noses up at his food. He served the plates before taking the unoccupied seat next to Lupin. The thief tucked right into his plate with little decorum. Fujiko, on the other hand, took her sweet time, rubbing in just how much more sophisticated she was with her manners. She spread a thin layer of butter and jam on a piece of toast before taking a delicate nibble, her eyes locked on Lupin.

“So,” she asked, wiping at the corners of her mouth, “how long have you and Jigen been fucking?”

Jigen choked on his own coffee; his face turning beet red as he forgot how to breathe. 

Lupin looked unruffled by the question; he thought it over a moment. “About as long as we’ve been working together so,” Lupin guessed, “six—“

“Eight years.” The words were out of Jigen’s mouth before he could stop them.

“Really?” Lupin glanced at Jigen with absolutely no shame. “Huh, guess it has been that long.” He shrugged his shoulders at Fujiko, “If it makes you feel better you got to me first.” From the way Fujiko slammed her hand down on the table, it did not make her feel better. The dishes rattled with the force of the blow. Now Lupin looked concerned. “Are you okay?” 

“No,” Fujiko said, “I am not okay.”

Lupin leaned back in his chair, giving Fujiko his full attention. “You’ve never been this bothered by the other girls,” he said.

“Because I didn’t know them!” Fujiko had never looked at Lupin with that kind of anger before. 

Lupin seemed genuinely baffled. “Does that make a difference?”

“Yes! No, I—“ Fujiko was struggling to speak. Lupin took her hand in his and though she tried to jerk it away he used his strength to cradle it.

“Fujiko, we both know that we’re not the marrying kind,” Lupin said. “Neither of us would ever be satisfied with just each other and I came to terms with that a long time ago. I know that there have been other men and that there always will be other men. Hell, the way that you wrap some of them around your finger gets me hot and bothered.”

Jigen took this all in; he did not want to be part of this conversation. He pushed himself away from the table. Lupin whipped his head around and ordered: “Stay.” Shit, Lupin never used that tone with him. Jigen felt frozen to the spot.

“And I suppose,” Fujiko said with distain, “that you’ll tell me that all those other girls meant nothing to you.”

“Please,” Lupin said, with a roll of the eyes, “I flirt, it’s part of the game. I know that you chase after some guys as marks; it’s the same with me. And sometimes it’s just for fun but fun is all it is.” He graced Fujiko with one of his genuine, charming smiles. “I’ve only been in love with two people in my entire life.”

“Fujiko’s one,” Jigen said, unable to keep the jealousy out of his voice, “who’s the other?”

The look Lupin leveled at Jigen was one filled with profound disappointment. “You, dumbass,” he snapped.

Jigen could feel the thud of his own heartbeat in his ears. “You, uh—“ He glanced at Fujiko and was glad to see that she looked as dumbfounded as he felt. 

Lupin kissed the inside of Fujiko’s wrist; she shivered as if remembering other intimacies. “You are excitement, romance, turbulence and an intellectual challenge,” he told her. “I’ve said that betrayal is just another accessory for a woman—“ Lupin reached up with his free hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Fujiko’s ear. “But do you really think I’d put up with it as often as I do if I didn’t love you?”

Fujiko’s face flushed pink; she looked away, unable to face Lupin directly. Jigen had seen her play the innocent to seduce men before but she didn’t look like she was acting. She seemed like she didn’t know what to do with herself.

“And you—“ Jigen was startled to see Lupin’s intensity directed at him. The thief had let go of Fujiko and was now leaning over Jigen, hands braced against the arms of Jigen’s chair. With Fujiko he had acted more the gentleman, this was the posture of a predator. “Are loyal, brave and the best damn shot I have ever seen.” All Jigen had to do was lean forward and he could kiss Lupin, the other man was so close. “You are also stubborn” Lupin said, “an occasional pain in my ass and your mouth tastes like your shitty cigarettes.” 

Jigen frowned. “Hey!” Any further objection was silenced by Lupin capturing Jigen’s lips. The older man melted into the contact, his hands reaching out for Lupin but the thief pulled away.

Fujiko snorted at the display. “Well,” she said to Jigen, “this certainly explains why you hate me so much.”

Jigen scowled. “I don’t hate you, you piss me off,” he explained, face red. He pulled his hat down low, trying to hide his embarrassment. “There’s a difference.” 

“Really?” Some liked to think that a beautiful face such as Fujiko’s couldn’t hold such an ugly, sardonic expression, and they would be wrong. “I never noticed.”

“If you spent less time thinking of ways to screw us over and more time paying attention then maybe you’d know the difference.” Yes, he was rambling and not making that much sense, but Jigen didn’t care. 

“I’m sorry,” Fujiko said, her hand on her chest in a gesture of mock contrition, “I just never thought I had to get to know the hired help.”

Jigen stood up, glaring at Fujiko. If she wanted a fight, she’d get one.

“Hey!” Lupin snapped his fingers like a teacher getting the attention of unruly students. “I know you two get along like oil and water,” Lupin said, standing up, “but this job has a good payoff and I want to share it with all three of you.” He placed a hand on Jigen’s shoulder forcing him to sit down. Once satisfied that Jigen would stay in his seat, Lupin continued: “I’m going out.” He slid on his jacket to punctuate this statement. “You two can hash this out if you want.” Lupin sighed, his hands in his pockets. “Just try to remember that we _do_ make a good team.”

He left the apartment, not looking back at either of them. It took a few moments before either Fujiko or Jigen could break the silence. “Did he just leave so we’d have to deal with his mess?” Jigen asked.

Fujiko took a sip of her diluted coffee. “Yes, because the two of us have been so honest with our emotions.”

He was not letting her get away with that. “Fine, you want to talk honesty let’s start with you.” Jigen dragged his chair up to the table, leaning forward into Fujiko’s space. “So I’m just the hired help, huh?” 

“I thought so on the first job,” Fujiko admitted, “but you quickly proved you weren’t just a one time thing.” She set down her coffee like she was setting down her armor. “Most thugs that I’ve seen in this business are just walls of meat but you, you have talent.”

“And talent means something to you?” Jigen asked.

“It makes me respect you,” Fujiko admitted. “It doesn’t make me like you but if something ever happened to you—“ she trailed off. Her eyes darted to the side; she was considering her next words carefully. “I’d be very put out.” 

Jigen laughed at that one. He could see she was putting up a front now and it was reassuring. With all of her posturing and betrayals, Jigen had sometimes doubted her attachment to any of them. “I might be put out if something happened to you too.”

Fujiko looked pleased at this revelation. “Thank you, that actually means a lot.”

“Doesn’t mean I forgive you for all the times you’ve put us through the wringer,” Jigen said. “I still don’t know why you do it.”

“Of course not,” Fujiko said, “your greatest quality is your loyalty. I like to think that mine is my cunning. For people like Lupin and myself it’s all part of a greater plan, a desire to outwit one another. I like to watch him improvise, to twist the worst situations to his will.”

“What happens when Lupin can’t?” Jigen asked. “What happens if he dies?”

Fujiko’s eyes went cold. “That wouldn’t happen,” she insisted. “And if anything did happen to Lupin, well I know that there’s more than one way to destroy a man and whoever crossed him would wish I would kill him before I was through. And don’t worry, I’d let you and Goemon help.” 

Jigen felt like he was getting closer to figuring out at least of piece of Fujiko’s heart. Now there was only one question that he had to ask her and, as far as he was concerned, it was the most important question in the world. “Do you love Lupin?”

Fujiko’s mouth set in a firm, thin line. She did not like this direction of inquiry. “Men are supposed to be easy,” she said, “and disposable. They fulfill my needs—“

“Mostly monetary.”

Fujiko ignored the snide comment. “And then I never see them again. They get stupid, dependent and dull. No man can hold my attention for long and once I’m done with them they are forgotten.”

Jigen was starting to get her meaning. “But Lupin’s different.”

“Yes,” she admitted, her voice not as strong as she would have liked. “Damn him, he’s different.”

“How?” Jigen asked. He wasn’t going to let her get away with half measures. 

Fujiko laughed. “You already know,” she said. For the first time she met his eyes. “You probably love him for the same reasons.” She couldn’t say it aloud, not at that moment 

Now Jigen felt like he was under the microscope, that Fujiko needed him to finish what she couldn’t. “He uh,” Jigen struggled to articulate himself, “makes me feel important.”

She sighed. “That’s the best you can do?”

“Hey! Not all of us could afford charm school, sweetheart!” Jigen shouted. 

Then the door to the apartment opened and in stepped a figure removed from time. He stood tall, noble and utterly foreign in his robes his ancient sword strapped to his side. He was familiar to both of them and under other circumstances his presence would be welcomed, but right now it felt like his timing couldn’t be worse.

“So,” Goemon asked, “have I missed anything?”


	3. Diamonds and Guns, Diamonds and Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lupin starts to explain the caper and it's as ridiculous as most of his adventures.

Lupin arrived shortly after Goemon much to Jigen’s relief. He did not want to explain the currently unfolding psychosexual drama to a socially naïve samurai. 

“Now that Goemon is here we can get started!” Lupin shoved the young man into the nearest open chair. Goemon took the manhandling with more dignity than most but he couldn’t help bristling a little at Lupin’s forcefulness.

As Lupin breezed by Fujiko he whispered into her ear. “Are you two going to play nice?”

Fujiko eyed Jigen. The gunman nodded and she whispered back, “Yes.”

“Great.” Lupin squeezed her shoulders then dashed into the next room.

“Do either of you know what he’s planning?” Goemon asked.

Jigen shook his head and lit a cigarette. “No clue.”

Lupin came back into the room with his laptop and a few suitcases that he plopped onto the table. Within moments he had opened his laptop, gesturing for the others to gather around close. He brought up a very photogenic image of an island. “This is Ithaca, Greece the very same Ithaca from the _Odyssey._ And hidden in Ithaca are these--” The next image popped up, an official looking piece of paper. “Stolen bearer bonds, ten million dollars worth.” 

Jigen coughed. “That’s a lot of dough, boss.”

“Yup,” Lupin agreed, “And the best part is I already have a firm lined up to cash them out. We’re looking at two and half a million a piece, ladies and gentlemen.”

“Haven’t they been phased out, Lupin?” Fujiko asked, always up to date. “I thought most countries dealt with Eurobonds now.”

“True, these are old-fashioned but they’re still viable and have reached their full maturity date.” Lupin brought up another photo. It was of a brunet man in his thirties, with slicked back hair, moustache and a goatee. He was handsome but his eyes held that dull look of someone used to wealth, privilege and did none of the work required to get there. “This is Geoff Birmingham; he’s a wealthy real estate developer with his fingers in some very shady business and we’re going to be attending one of his parties.” 

Goemon played along and asked: “Why?”

Lupin grinned. “So we can meet—“ He brought up a pair of photographs side by side. The first was a middle aged Greek man with olive pockmarked skin and salt and pepper hair. The second man was Chinese with a pinched, unpleasant face and glasses. “Achillos Kyrkos, international arms dealer and Yim Jianyu, computer scientist and snuff film aficionado.”

“What?” Jigen asked, startled by that last revelation. 

“Just seeing if you were paying attention,” Lupin said. “But seriously he’s a sadist, don’t be left alone in a room with him. And these three men are part of a criminal group calling themselves _Irukandji_.” Lupin showed them a new slide with a logo that looked like a stylized sinister—

“Is that a jellyfish?” Jigen asked.

“It is one of the most venomous creatures in the world,” Goemon explained.

Jigen was not impressed. “It’s still a jellyfish.”

“Hey—“ Lupin loudly clapped his hands together. “Focus. Rumor has it that _Irukandji_ is building a weapon capable of destroying entire cities from space.”

“To what purpose?” Goemon asked.

“Money,” Lupin said. “This isn’t an organization interested in ideology, they just want cold hard cash and they don’t care who they extort it from.”

Lupin glanced at his audience and noticed that he was losing Fujiko’s interest. He sighed; some days he forgot that she was more motivated by greed than the thrill. “And the focusing mechanism is a diamond the size of a fist.” 

She perked up immediately. “Really?” 

Glad that the plan was the center of attention, he started again. “There’s a few possible locations on the island where they could be holing up but my money is on this place.” Lupin showed them a photo of an old fortified building. “In the town of Vathy there’s an old fort that used to be open to the public as a tourist attraction but it suddenly closed up last month. It could be just a coincidence but I doubt it.”

“So you think they have a what-- a death satellite buried underneath an old fort?” Jigen asked. He was a little worried about this caper. Two and a half million was nothing to sneeze at but was it worth getting tangled up with terrorists?

Lupin pouted. “Well it sounds silly when you say it like that.”

Fujiko ignored the comment. “So what exactly are we going to be doing at this party? I doubt that Birmingham’s going to invite the press.” It was a valid concern; part of their usual modus operandi was to disguise themselves as reporters.

“We’re not going as the press,” Lupin said. “I have four brand new identities crafted just for us.” He reached into his jacket and whipped out four passports, holding them out like cards in a magic trick. “We’re going to infiltrate Mr. Birmingham’s party, do some intel and maybe pick up some security bypasses while we are at it.”

Lupin passed out the passports to his cohorts. “Goemon, you are now Honda Toshio, salaryman for a communications firm in Tokyo. Jigen is Dirk Eastwood, a middle manager at an up and coming defense contractor in the US.” 

“Dirk Eastwood?” Jigen asked. “Are you kidding me? That is the fakest sounding—“

“Shut up,” Lupin said. “It’s a great name. They’ll love it.” He ignored any further outbursts from the peanut gallery. “Fujiko—“ He pressed Fujiko’s passport into her palm with a smirk. “Is now Countess Caroline Odessa of a small insignificant country; she’s trying to move up in the world politically.” 

“And who are you supposed to be?” Fujiko asked, glancing over her fake passport.

“I am your lowly personal secretary Francois Louvel; utterly devoted to you in every way.” As he spoke, he tried to steal a kiss from the back on her free hand. She swatted him away in mock annoyance.

Goemon raised his eyes from his passport. “I am not shaving my head.” He showed everyone the passport photo of a man with a shaved head and tiny rectangular glasses.

“It’s called a bald cap, Goemon,” Lupin said. “And with a few small prosthetics you’ll look just like the photo.” 

“And how the hell am I supposed to look like this guy?” Jigen asked, perturbed at the image of a red headed man with a full beard.

“A mask, I’ve already got one mocked up for you,” Lupin said. He seemed much too pleased with himself at the prospect.

Jigen stubbed out the ashy remains of his cigarette. “I don’t do masks, boss.”

Lupin shut the lid on his laptop. “Well you do now.” He almost looked offended at Jigen’s outburst. “I wear them all the time.”

“And I’m not you,” Jigen pointed out. “What’s Fujiko got to do?”

“Just a wig,” she said. The photo looked just like her but with a slick, severe black bob. “I’ve got something in my luggage that will work just fine.”

Now Jigen was sure that there was some favoritism here. “Wait, why does she get away with just a wig and I’ve got to wear a full mask?”

“A beautiful woman has _other_ assets,” Lupin gave Fujiko’s cleavage a not so subtle leer, “to use as a distraction. Your face is just too distinct Jigen-chan.”

“Distinct?” Jigen frowned, that better have not been a euphemism.

“We’re kind of famous,” Lupin reminded him. “Ithaca is an isolated place but these guys are more worldly. I don’t want to risk the plan going in the toilet because you won’t play along and wear a mask.” The man had a point. Jigen had been surprised numerous times with images of his own face on wanted posters over the years. 

The gunman knew when he had been beat. “Fine.” 

“Great!” Lupin wiggled his fingers in threatening manner. “Let me help you with that.”

Fujiko grabbed the back of Lupin’s jacket, jerking him back into his seat. “I’ll take care of it. Why don’t you help Goemon with the bald cap?”

Lupin deflated for just a moment, “Okay.” Then he turned his attention onto the samurai who suddenly looked very nervous. “Let’s play dress up, Goemon.” From inside one of the suitcases he produced a makeup kit and advanced on Goemon. Before the samurai could even move Lupin was upon him applying spirit glue, latex and blending makeup. At Goemon’s undignified whine Lupin rolled his eyes. “Stop being such a baby.” 

Fujiko, on the other hand, was collected and far less violent. She took out a mirror from the suitcase, the adhesive and the mask. The blank face with red hair looked gross dangling in Fujiko’s fingers. She then laid it out flat on the table; the frozen visage didn’t look much better there.

She was patient in teaching Jigen where to apply the glue and just how much. After a few tries, Jigen got the hang of it and managed to place the mask over his own face. It was eerie seeing a complete stranger staring back at him. 

Jigen turned his gaze to Fujiko, “Why are you helping me out? Are you actually being nice to me or just playing it up in front of Lupin?” 

Fujiko gave him an enigmatic smile. “Why can’t it be both?” 

He uttered a noncommittal grunt. His fingers stroked at the seam where the mask ended and flesh began. “I don’t know how he can stand this.”

Fujiko fished through the suitcase, seeing if there was anything meant for her. “Being in disguise is part of the fun, you get used to it.” 

“But he doesn’t usually make us do this,” Jigen said. “Do you think something’s up?”

She pushed aside a light grey suit that she assumed was for one of the boys. “My guess is that he believes these men are dangerous. Why would he bother with the elaborate identities otherwise?” Her fingers lighted on a fabric that was more delicate than the wools of the suits. She grasped the item and pulled it out. It was a white silk gown, cut to perfection. Fujiko let out a pleased squeal. “Lupin, this is gorgeous!” It was a little wrinkled from being in the suitcase, she would have to steam it out but otherwise she was in seventh heaven. 

She pressed the gown against her body and twirled. Lupin watched her with fondness. “You like it?” he asked.

“I love it.” She graced him with a kiss on the cheek. 

“And it’ll look great with those emeralds you got from Mr. Petrides,” Lupin said.

The elated expression on Fujiko’s face froze. “How do you know about that?”

“Fujicakes, I like to keep tabs on you to make sure you don’t get into trouble.” Lupin plucked the gown from her greedy fingers. He took the dress to the back room and placed it on the bed. “You do the same for me.” 

“Right.” She relaxed when she saw he wasn’t mad. Mr. Petrides had been her _business_ from the previous night. It had been a simple job, get hired as a secretary, seem interested in more than business and then rob the man blind. It wasn’t the sort of thing she usually felt guilty about but after Lupin’s confession-- They were going to have to talk about future expectations and she was not looking forward to it. 

When Lupin reappeared in the main room he had changed into a simple light grey suit; he held a mask in his right hand. “Once we’re done gussying ourselves up we need to pack. I’ve got a boat on hold at the marina; we’re going to use it to get on and off the island since an aircraft will be conspicuous.” 

He sat down in front of the mirror next to Jigen. “You’ve got the charcoal suit,” he told Jigen, “And the navy is for Goemon. Fujiko, you’ll find more appropriate sportswear for you in the other suitcase. Can’t have the Countess making her new gown filthy on a boat.” 

Jigen watched as with a few practiced strokes of the glue brush and the smooth application of the mask Lupin transformed into a young blond man in his early twenties. The thief reached into the suitcase and pulled out a pair of black square frame glasses, settling them on his own new face. His lips shifted into a smile. Even with a different face there was no mistaking the owner of that grin. “This is gonna be fun.”


	4. See how the mainsail sets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lupin and company work out boundaries, they are terrible at it.

Beautiful boats shimmered in whites, blues, and shining chrome in the small well-maintained marina. The yacht that Lupin had chartered was a sleek silver number a little over 20 meters long called the _Persephone_. Jigen had never been into the flashier trappings of wealth but the boat made a small part of him covetous. 

He and Goemon had been told to hang back out of sight of the marina workers. Lupin had given them an explanation that all four of them couldn’t be seen together then something about secret identities, blah, blah and Jigen had just tuned him out. Although now he wished he hadn’t because he wasn’t sure if Lupin flirting with the marina owner was in the plan. 

The woman in question was young, pretty and visibly infatuated with “Francois.” Her skin was flushed, her eyes bright, her smile too wide. “Thank you so much for your kindness,” “Francois” told her. “This vessel is magnificent but cannot hold a candle to your beauty.”

Jigen threw up a little in his mouth. He would have been angrier about the whole thing but the dark look on the “Countesses’” face was hilarious. Fujiko was in disguise; her black wig made her look like Uma Thurman and her crisp white shirt with her dark capris just added to the effect. She had to stand there pretending nothing was wrong but the twitch in her eye gave her away. Seeing Fujiko act jealous amused Jigen far more than he’d ever care to admit. 

The young woman, Arianna was her name, tittered and averted her gaze. “She’s the fastest one in the fleet, just like you requested,” she said. 

“Francois” opened his mouth, no doubt to say some terrible pickup line, when the “Countess” stepped in.

“Your help has been greatly appreciated but I’m afraid we must be going. Come along, _Francois_.” “Francois” dutifully followed behind his lovely mistress but turned to blow a kiss to the awe struck maiden he left behind.

Once they were out of her line of sight, Fujiko grabbed Lupin by his ear, tugging him along to rejoin the others on the dock. “Are you out of your mind?” she hissed. 

“Ow.” Lupin rubbed his sore ear once it was released. “What did you do that for?”

Fujiko shot him a withering glare. “You were making eyes at that woman.”

Lupin shrugged his shoulders. “Francois’ a flirt.” To him nothing was wrong; it was just part of the character he was playing. 

Fujiko though was having none of it. “Lupin’s the flirt,” she said, glaring. Jigen found this whole situation a little surreal.

The thief, however, was completely unfazed by her behavior. “Come on,” he ordered the others,” let’s get everything loaded onto the ship so we can cast off.” He placed a hand on the small of Fujiko’s back and steered her toward their yacht. “I think the ocean breeze will do us all some good.”

She didn’t pull away, letting Lupin guide her onto the ship. If her shoulders were stiff, her eyes looking everywhere but at Lupin he either never noticed or he didn’t care. Jigen and Goemon picked up the luggage and dutifully followed. 

It was not a huge yacht but it could accommodate the four of them easily. The _Persephone_ had a long prow built for speed, her overall body beautiful and sleek. The aft was short but equipped with cushioned loungers and a sofa for those who wished to relax. Blond wood covered the deck and the upholstery was plush yet water proof. The main floor consisted of a dining area with a mini bar and ample seating. Down below was a den and three staterooms, one equipped with twin beds, the others with doubles. 

Jigen wasn’t sure what the sleeping arrangements were going to be, but he had a feeling Lupin would be angling to share with Fujiko. Although, judging by her mood, Jigen wasn’t sure that was going to pan out. Either way, he was impressed with Lupin’s choice in yachts though he wondered why they weren’t going by a more commercial route. 

After loading up their luggage they took off their disguises, setting them aside for later. Jigen felt glad to be rid of the false face and clothes if only for a little while. He was also relived to see his friends and not strangers staring back at him. 

Lupin sat himself in the captain’s chair to plot their course. Goemon took up a perch on the prow of the ship, his legs crossed under himself as he meditated. Jigen found himself joining Fujiko on the upholstered aft loungers, watching as the ship pulled away from the harbor into the beckoning sea. There were no witnesses to their departure; not even Arianna was there to see them off. 

Jigen took the opportunity to poison the pristine air with one of his cigarettes but Fujiko, now dressed in a tasteful bikini, just stared out at the water. It wasn’t in his nature to care about Fujiko’s feelings but Jigen couldn’t help himself. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She blinked; startled that he was talking to her. “I—“ Fujiko bit her lower lip. “I’m used to knowing what I want,” she explained. “Before everything with Lupin was simple, uncomplicated and now—“ Fujiko trailed off with a heavy sigh.

Jigen finished her thought: “It’s not.” 

She looked back over her shoulder. Lupin was intent on his course and Goemon was on the other side of the ship. Between the sound of the motor and the wind there was no way that she and Jigen would be overheard. “Weren’t you bothered by the girl?” she asked.

Jigen took a drag, watching his own exhale disperse into a thin cloud. “Yeah,” he admitted, “but seeing you get mad made it funny.”

She whacked him on the shoulder. “It was not.”

“Ow!” Jigen threw up his arm to defend himself and his cigarette. “Come on, it’s not like we haven’t seen it before.”

“Yes, but he was this close to running off with her panties,” Fujiko hissed holding her thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart. 

“With her in them,” Jigen muttered. They settled back against their respective seats. Jigen’s cigarette was nearly gone before he spoke again. “So, do you want to do anything about it?”

“I don’t know.” Fujiko held up her hand, shading her eyes against the blinding sun. “He is who he is; asking Lupin not to flirt will be impossible.”

“True,” Jigen said. “So what do you want from him then?”

A slow devious grin crossed Fujiko’s face; she had just gotten an idea.

Their plotting was interrupted by the arrival of Lupin with a pair of fruity looking drinks. “For the gentleman and lady,” Lupin offered.

Jigen raised the brim of his hat to get a better look at the peach and pink swirled abomination he had just been handed. He took a sniff; there was alcohol in it but damned if it could figure out what kind. “What the hell is this?”

“It’s good, just drink it.” Lupin sipped on a matching drink of his own. 

“Look, if I don’t know what’s in it, it’s not going in my mouth.” 

The look on Lupin’s face told them he was about to say something filthy when Fujiko changed the subject. “I think we need to talk about boundaries.”

“Boundaries?” Lupin actually squeaked in surprise.

“Yes.” Fujiko shifted onto her side, letting Lupin get a better view of her body. “Jigen and I were very upset that you were flirting with that girl.”  
Lupin shook his head as if clearing away the visual distraction of Fujiko’s breasts. “Come on Fujiko, you can’t get mad about that. That’s like if I got mad every time you did a honeypot operation,” he said. “Which is basically all you do.” 

She pouted. “But do you really think I let all those men have their wicked way with me?” Her right calf dragged along her left, drawing Lupin’s gaze to her long legs. 

“I try not to think about it,” Lupin muttered under his breath.

Since he and Fujiko were working towards the same goal for once Jigen could take the time to really observe her methods. She was almost artful in the way that she would direct Lupin’s attention with a small turn of the body and a bat of her eyelashes. Where Lupin was charisma, she was sensuality and for once Jigen really got what they saw in each other. 

Fujiko reached over, her finger trailing on Lupin’s chest. “You are right, I can’t tell you not to flirt,” she said, grasping his tie, “but I can ask you not to follow through.”

“What exactly are you saying?” Lupin was either distracted or wanted her to speak plainly, Jigen couldn’t tell which.

She pulled him forward to speak into his ear, loud enough for Jigen to hear. “I’m saying that you have two gorgeous people interested in your body and we don’t want to share.” 

Lupin turned his head, his lips brushing against her cheek. “If that’s true, then you might need to stop playing so hard to get.”

Fujiko took the hint and pressed herself against him. They kissed, their mouths a sensual dance against each other, her leg wrapping around him, drawing him closer. Lupin’s hand came down to prop himself against the cushion, the other cupped Fujiko’s ass. She let out a little gasping moan. 

Jigen watched, his jaw dropped, his cigarette forgotten. He felt his face heat and his pants tighten. Just last week he would have been envious of such a display but now he just wanted to watch. Jigen downed half of his fruity drink in a few gulps, willing on the brain freeze to forget that he had ever considered being a voyeur. 

Lupin gave Fujiko one last peck on the corner of her mouth before pulling away. “So,” he asked Jigen, “is that what you want too?”

Jigen pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to regain the feeling in his face. “Want what now?”

“For me to keep it to just you two?” Lupin asked. 

“Yeah,” Jigen said, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Not like you’re that successful with other chicks anyway.”

“Hey!” Now Lupin had to defend his prowess. “I get them most of the time.” 

“Only about a quarter of the time,” Jigen argued.

With a single glare the seductive Lupin from before had been replaced with the occasionally immature jackass that Jigen knew and loved. Lupin insinuated himself between Fujiko and Jigen on the seats, arms crossed, frowning like a child. “Fine then,” he said. “I don’t want you running off with some girl,” he told Jigen.

“That’s happened like maybe twice,” Jigen defended himself, “and they usually just needed help. It’s not like I didn’t come crawling back to you anyway.”

“And you,” Lupin turned his attention to Fujiko, “can’t betray us anymore.”

Fujiko actually looked offended. “I don’t—it’s not that often.”

“Yeah, it is.” Jigen felt no guilt about ganging up on her on this one. 

“But it’s part of the game Lupin.” Now Fujiko was pouting and it wasn’t sexy so much as sad.

The thief sighed. “Fine, if you don’t betray us on this job I’ll take you to Milan.”

Fujiko’s eyes lit up and she hugged Lupin with delight. “Oh, there’s the Galleria and the Duomo, thank you.”

Jigen threw up his hands in frustration. “Wait, that’s not how this boundary thing works!” 

“Really, it’s not like there’s many rules for this _thing_ we have,” Lupin said. Fujiko stuck her tongue out at Jigen from over Lupin’s shoulder. “And besides, it’s not like you won’t get something later.”

Jigen scoffed, “Like what?”

Lupin smirked. “A trip anywhere you want to go, just you and me. I take Fujiko to Milan and then we go off to wherever on Earth tickles your fancy.”

Jigen took a moment to consider it. Sure, he had been lots of places with Lupin before but that was usually to plan the next heist. To go somewhere that Jigen wanted just to go on vacation, that was not actually a bad offer. “Huh, does all this depend on Fujiko not screwing us over?”

“Nah, just on you being on your best behavior.” From the way that Lupin grinned at him Jigen thought it was going to take a hell of a lot to make the thief back out.

“Okay,” Jigen agreed, leaning back in his chair, hat low on his brow. “I’ll think about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boat I’m modeling this on:
> 
> http://www.yacht-villa.com/en/yacht-charter46
> 
> I was sick when I wrote most of this, hopefully it is acceptable


	5. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Living up to a legacy can be a blessing or a curse; it can give one purpose or plunge them into the worst despair. The original Ishikawa Goemon was a figure shrouded in mystery, as an enemy of the state he had not had much written about him. Most of what the Ishikawa family knew were rumors, family legends and popular stories embellished in the centuries since his gruesome execution. He had been a thief and a samurai-- in some stories even a ninja-- with a kind heart who gave his ill-gotten gains back to the poor. Then there were other tales that he was political dissonant and that it was those leanings that led to his death.

The current Goemon was far less ambiguous. He was stern, noble in bearing even if not so much in occupation. He had made a name for himself though there were times when he doubted that his infamy as a thief was really all that commendable. He wished to be as generous as his ancestor, though he did so more through donation than just handing out money to random people. 

Goemon had little use for wealth, much preferring the life and values of an ascetic to a hedonist. He distained the culture of excess that trapped so many in a perpetual cycle of want and would often find himself wishing for a return to simpler times. Despite this, he somehow entangled himself with Lupin.

Lupin never hid his tendencies toward indulgence from Goemon, preferring to be honest about his vices. He would often tease Goemon about loosening up and having fun but Lupin never pushed Goemon beyond his comfort zone. Lupin was irresponsible and outright giddy in his disrespect toward law and order in a way that Goemon never could. 

Sometimes Goemon would feel the weight of his crimes upon his shoulders and he would retreat back into training, far away from the temptations offered by the outside world. Yet, no matter how many times he ran he would come racing back whenever Lupin contacted him. It mystified him that Lupin, a man he had once vowed to kill, would be one of his best friends. 

The samurai opened his eyes, his body and mind relaxed from meditation. He was perched on the bow of the ship undisturbed by the way it pushed through the waves. The air was crisp, the smell of salt sharp in his nose. He rose to his feet, then made his way carefully to the main cabin. 

It appeared that the others were all on the loungers on the other side of the yacht. Goemon thought about joining them when Lupin got up. The thief crawled over Fujiko, somehow holding on to his drink while copping a feel at the same time, and walked over to Goemon. 

“Hey, are you enjoying the view?” he asked.

“It’s quite lovely,” Goemon responded. It was true, the azure sea was undisturbed by other boats and they were far enough away from shore to see nothing but uninterrupted blue. 

Lupin nodded, pleased at the answer. “Great, want a drink?”

Goemon looked at the blended beverage in Lupin’s hand, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “No thank you.”

Lupin noticed his gaze. “Oh, not this.” He reached over to the portable cooler and fetched out a small bottle of saké. “I got you the good stuff.”

This was the exact sort of temptation that hanging around with Lupin afforded. Goemon sighed. “I must keep vigilant, my training—“

“Look,” Lupin set his drink down, “when we get to Ithaca we’re going to have to be on our guard. These _Irukandji_ guys are dangerous and we don’t want to get caught with our pants down, but right now we are on open ocean. There ain’t nobody here but us and we might as well enjoy it.” Lupin offered the bottle again, the tilt of his head saying that he would not accept a “no.” “This is the one chance you have to let go before we get serious.”

Goemon was a man of principles, of discipline. He had fought some of the greatest martial arts masters of the world and won; but there was something about Lupin that wore away at his defenses. “Very well then.”

Lupin smiled and all anxiousness over accepting the alcohol went away. Goemon mused that perhaps Lupin got to him because he was the only one who understood the weight of a legacy. 

 

The Birmingham home on Ithaca was a modern construction perched on the mountain with a view of the sea. A series of white blocks stacked one on top of the other, it held none of the charm of Neoclassical design, but was striking none the less. It was not nearly as large as his rambling estate back home in England but the Ithaca property was a more than sizable vacation home.

Birmingham had several pools, including one suspended on an upper level and another that flowed from indoors to outdoors. The extravagant amount of water more than made up for the fact that the beach was far below and inaccessible. The rest of the home had that expensive minimalism only affordable to the very wealthy. It was clean, comfortable and, most importantly, remote. 

Geoff Birmingham sat with his companions, Yim Jianya and Achillos Kyrkos, on the top patio enjoying the view as the sun set over the horizon. With drinks in hand they looked like any men having a chat, but their purpose was darker than most. “I don’t understand why you would want to disturb this serenity with a party,” Yim asked. 

Kyrkos leaned back in his chair, safe and secure in his own power. He had made a killing selling guns to a small African nation whose ethnic groups were warring amongst themselves. He cared not for the outcome for those whose lives were lost nor for the peace shattered, but merely the profit to be had. “Because dear Mr. Yim, it is an excellent way to network.”

Yim’s unpleasant face relaxed a modicum. “I just find it distasteful.”

“You find most interactions with people distasteful,” Birmingham said. 

Yim did not disagree. He far preferred the intricacies of technology to those of people unless he was dismantling them. “So who exactly have you invited?”

Birmingham took a sip of his whiskey. “Some politicians, some royalty, some businessmen, all moneyed.” His assistant had drawn up the list, he was far too important to be bothered. “The sort who might make good allies.”

“Or good victims,” Kyrkos chimed in. They had invested heavily in this operation, not just in money but in their time and effort as well. The satellite could prove to be very profitable if they could extort the right people. 

Yim’s cruel eyes glanced over to Birmingham. “Will you be looking for a new toy as well?”

The younger man stroked his chin, fingers carding through his neatly manicured goatee. He considered the thought. “It has been a while since you disposed of the last one.”

“No,” Kyrkos insisted. “It is too risky for you to go on the prowl with this crowd.” He remembered the last one, a pretty dark-skinned foreign woman who had been vacationing alone. She had been easy to snatch from her hotel room; no one had ever reported her missing. A nobody was one thing, but taking royalty or a politician? “I forbid it.”

“Ah, but Achillos what reward is there without risk?” Birmingham asked.

“In business that’s one thing,” Kyrkos said, “but I will not allow your proclivities to endanger the plan.”

“Please,” Birmingham scoffed, “I have always been discreet and Yim takes care of things when I grow bored. It’s no skin off your nose.”

“No,” Kyrkos agreed, “but it is a few years off my life.” He tilted his head back and finished his drink. He needed these men but sometimes they irritated him.

A light cough drew their attention. It was Simmons, Mr. Birmingham’s personal valet. An older gentleman in his sixties, he was still fighting trim but haggard in the face. He held out a plain manila envelope to Birmingham. “This arrived for you today, sir.”

The mogul took the offered mail and opened it. He scanned the contents of the letter, his mouth quirking into a frown. “Odd,” he said. “My antique pocket watch collection is being threatened.”

Kyrkos and Yim shot him incredulous looks. “What?” 

“Five watches from all over the world. I have them in my safe on the property but why would someone want them?” They were valuable but it seemed like an odd target considering Birmingham’s other holdings. 

“Let me look.” Yim snatched the letter from his compatriot’s hand. His eyes widened at the signature. “Lupin the 3rd? He says he’s going to take them at the party!” He crumbled the paper in his agitation.

Birmingham scoffed; Yim was always a little high-strung. “What are you so concerned about a petty thief for?”

“He is not just a petty thief,” Yim insisted. “He is a very dangerous man.” He leaned forward to press his point. “He has stolen from the Triads and lived.”

“The guest list is too tight.” Birmingham was unconcerned. “There’s no possibility of him sneaking in.” 

“Do not underestimate this man,” Yim said. “Others have and they’ve paid for it, sometimes with their lives.” 

Kyrkos took his turn with the letter. “I will take this to my men down at police headquarters.” Like any good criminal mastermind he had a few members of law enforcement in his pocket. “They will tell us everything that they find on this Lupin the 3rd. We can always call for more security.”

“No,” Birmingham said. He stood up, letting the setting sun light him in the most dramatic way possible. “The men I have will be more than adequate. I don’t want any of our guests getting cold feet if they see too many guns waving about.” 

Yim swallowed. “But Lupin—“

“We will take care of him.” Birmingham was firm. “If we are to be the premier criminal organization on the planet we can’t let a little thing like a thief scare us off. Even if he does make off with the watches-- which I doubt-- they mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.” The others nodded in agreement. The loss of the watches would be a blow to his pride but a few clockwork mechanisms were worth far less than the money and power offered by the satellite. 

He turned back to face his companions and refreshed all of their drinks. Birmingham raised his glass. “We will let nothing stand in our way. To _Irukandji_!”

“To _Irukandji_ ,” the others echoed the cheers then downed their drinks. With a simple glass of whiskey they renewed their resolve and rekindled their ambition. In less than a week’s time, all of their hard work would come to fruition and the world would tremble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short, but I got a little crazed this week and I'm trying to post a chapter a weekend. I have no idea if I'll be able to keep up the goal but I'd like to try.


	6. Taking Care of Business

The _Persphone_ landed late in the morning at the marina in Vathy, Ithaca. As Jigen had predicted, Lupin spent the night in Fujiko’s room and, judging from the smirk on his face, they had done more than just sleeping. Jigen felt a small sting of jealousy but it was nothing like it would have been just a few days ago. Spending more time talking with Fujiko had dampened his dislike of her. Yes, she was selfish and had Lupin wrapped around her finger but if he benefitted from it—well, it’d be hypocritical to fault her methods. 

Lupin donned his Francois disguise and took care of all the practicalities involved with the yacht; Fujiko, as the Countess, joined him for appearances’ sake. Goemon and Jigen’s job was to stay out of sight until he was done.

It was irritating, but Jigen trusted Lupin to know what he was doing. Once Lupin gave them the all clear the others disembarked with their luggage into a waiting Dussenberg SSJ. Jigen raised an eyebrow. “No Fiat this time?”

Lupin sighed. “No, my baby wouldn’t work as well with the cover story,” he patted the side of the flashy car, “so I had to go with one of my other standbys.” 

As Fujiko slide into the passenger seat, she tied a scarf over her head to protect her hair. “Did you have this one shipped over?”

“Nah,” Lupin replied, “it’s a rental.”

Goemon perched in the back seat, admiring the interior finish. “Does this mean you’ll be more careful with this one?” he asked. Lupin did have a tendency to trash his cars. 

The thief flashed him a grin, “Hell no.” To emphasize the point, he peeled out into the narrow streets. As he drove, he explained part of the plan. “We’re loading into the safe house before checking into the hotel. We’ll go in at different times to avoid looking like we all got there at once.”

“What’s the point of that?” Jigen asked.

“To keep anyone from thinking we’re together,” Lupin said. “Ithaca only has a population of about 3,000 people and I don’t know how many of them are working for _Irukandji._ I’d like to keep anybody just minding their own business from getting in trouble.” 

“What are we taking to the safe house?” Goemon asked.

Lupin looked back over his shoulder. “Our extra luggage and some equipment. It’s not much but if shit hits the fan I’d like to make a quick getaway from the hotel without leaving anything behind.”

“Quick getaway?” Fujiko frowned. “This island is tiny, where we would we get away to?”

“Sometimes I think you have no faith in me.” Lupin shot her a hangdog expression. 

Jigen ignored him and watched the scenery go by. In no time at all they were at the abandoned storefront that was their safe house. “This place is a dump,” he muttered. 

“Well we don’t need the Ritz for this stuff,” Lupin said, parking the car. “Besides, you’ve never complained before.”

Jigen shrugged. “Maybe I’m raising my standards.” It didn’t take long to unload and set up the equipment that Lupin wanted. He was right, it wasn’t much but it was still bulky. 

Lupin fetched them some takeout coffee and, as they sipped their repast, gave them more instruction. “Tomorrow night we’re going to Birmingham’s party. I’m hiring a car service to get us there but keeping the rental stashed on his property to make our escape. The car service will keep up the illusion of money and that we have nothing to do with each other.” He held up Goemon’s glasses. “These have special lenses that will record retinal scans. You’ll need to introduce yourself to our three _Irukandji_ members and press this little button on the side.”

Lupin demonstrated where on the glasses for Goemon. “I also took the liberty of writing out some info on your character so you sound like you know what you’re talking about. I made one for you too, Jigen.”

“Okay,” Jigen said, taking the offered papers. “Do your glasses do that trick too?”

“Indeed they do, “ Lupin said, impressed at Jigen’s guess, “they also record voices. I want to get those for any vocal locks they might have.” 

“So what am I doing?” Jigen asked.

“I got you this.” Lupin took out a tiny spray bottle. “You spray it on—“ Lupin put a few spritzes on his palm. “Then shake hands with your victim.” He took Jigen’s hand in a firm handshake. Once done, there was a slight sheen to Lupin’s palm. He picked at a corner and slowly peeled up what looked like a perfect handprint. “Then just fold it up-- shiny side together-- and I can make a handprint glove.” 

Jigen looked at the thin gel hand Lupin waved about. “That is really weird, boss.” 

The thief shrugged. “I like to mix it up a little. That and I have no idea what kind of security we’re looking at once we go after the satellite,” he admitted.

“So all of this is preparation for the real heist?” Goemon asked. “This seems rather elaborate.”

“Well it’s either this or kidnap Birmingham and drag him around an enemy compound,” Lupin said. “I thought this was easier.”

“What’s my role in all of this?” Fujiko asked.

“You are going to use your charms to distract them from everything that we’re doing,” Lupin said. “I also want you to pretend that you’re interested in their little terrorist group and find out anything that can help us.” 

Fujiko pouted, this sounded like another honeypot gig. Yes she was good at it, but she had other skills as well. “Is that all?”

Lupin leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “I’ll tell you later.”

She thought that sounded more intriguing. “So how long do we have at this party?”

“About three hours,” Lupin told her. He pulled out a map. “We’ll be arriving at eight and we’ll rendezvous here,” he pointed to a bedroom on the second floor, “at ten forty-five. We’ll shimmy out the window and get to the car from there. We need to be out of the house by eleven.”

“Why, what happens at eleven?” Jigen asked.

“Nothing,” Lupin said, rolling up the map. “I just want my beauty sleep.”

Now Jigen was suspicious. “Right, did you do something you haven’t told us about? Something that would piss us off?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lupin said. “I’d never do anything like that.” 

Jigen wasn’t buying it but he knew better than to try to get anything out of Lupin now. “Uh huh.” 

“We’ll go back to the hotel that night and bail for the safe house the next morning,” Lupin continued. “But today and tomorrow we’re spending time around town doing tourist stuff, acting like we belong here. I want the hotel staff and the locals to see us.”

Goemon made a guess as to his intentions. “And we’ll be in disguise to throw off any future suspicion?”

Lupin pointed a finger at Goemon. “Bingo. For the next few days we are not the Lupin Gang but strangers who have never met before.” 

Such a proclamation was easier said than done. Now that Jigen was settled into his hotel room he was bored. He lay on the well-made queen bed and stared at the textured ceiling. The view outside his window would have beckoned anyone else to explore the city below but not Jigen. Ever since he had hooked up with Lupin, Jigen had rarely had to go anywhere alone. The idea of walking around the city by himself just held no appeal.

On any other job Lupin would have grabbed his jacket sleeve and whined at him until Jigen dragged his carcass out of bed to join the world of the living. Then he would have grouched and pretended the whole excursion was a chore while secretly enjoying himself. He knew that it was only a few days but still, what the hell was he going to do until the party?

Jigen walked out to his balcony and lit a cigarette. He was supposed to do stuff his character would do, so who was Dirk Eastwood? He tried to imagine what Lupin would say: “Well he’s a manager guy right? So do manager things!” Jigen walked back inside, glancing at a list of amenities for the hotel. They did have a business center, maybe that’d give him a clue. 

He pocketed his keycard and made his way downstairs. Having no idea where he was going, he approached the woman at the front desk. “Where’s the business center?” he asked.

“Down the hallway, it’s the second door on the left.” “Hanna” was the name on her nametag. Jigen thanked her but before he could leave she asked, “Wait, are you American?”

“Yeah,” Jigen replied.

“I have always wanted to go,” Hanna said. Jigen wasn’t sure if she was flirting or just being friendly. She gave him an inquisitive smile. “Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?”

Huh, odd question. “No,” he said. He had spent most of his life in cities; Jigen wasn’t really a national park kind of guy. “Never had the chance.”

“Oh.” She seemed genuinely disappointed. “It just always seemed so big from the pictures. I haven’t really been anywhere else, just to the mainland.”

“I wouldn’t knock Greece,” Jigen said, “It’s a damn fine place.”

“Thank you,” Hanna said. “But there’s something romantic about such vast vistas and being so far away from everything. Here everything is cramped and small--” Realizing that she was speaking to a guest, she flushed. “Sorry, I’m babbling.”

“It’s okay,” Jigen reassured her. “I gotta get going.”

He took his leave, following Hanna’s directions to the business center. But as he walked he started thinking about what she had said. There was something appealing about getting away from it all, someplace that seemed bigger than life. Usually Jigen was drawn to neon and chrome but the natural world would be a nice change of pace. Not to mention it would be harder for Lupin to turn the vacation into an excuse to case the next big score if they weren’t near civilization. Besides, if they ever got too bored they could go to Phoenix and fly someplace a little more lively. 

And what better place to do research on that sort of trip than a business center? It was a well-appointed office space with computers, printers, everything he needed, except maybe a stiff drink. He’d have to remedy that later. Jigen plopped down into a leather office chair and rolled up to the nearest computer. 

Typing wasn’t his forte so he spent far too much time hunting and pecking for keys. Still, once he got started on his online search he felt myself start to build momentum. It was a while before he glanced up to look at the clock. In that time he had found way more information on rock formations than he had ever cared to know. Still, it had killed two hours. How many hours did he have left to go?

Jigen sighed and leaned his head against the cool desk. Oh, how was he going to kill that much time? He really needed that stiff drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter.


	7. An Invitation You Can't Decline

When they met the next night to gussy themselves up for the party, Jigen found out that the others hadn’t done much better with spending their time. 

“So let me get this straight,” Jigen said, straightening his tie, “you spent hours in a bar listening to sad music and bothering the bartender?”

“I wasn’t ‘bothering’ her,” Goemon replied as he applied his bald cap, “I was telling her my woes.”

“You were bothering her,” Jigen concluded. Really, Goemon was playing a salaryman and that was the best he could do? The samurai was not cut out for spy work. 

Before Goemon could formulate a reply, Lupin butted in: “Hey, at least you got drunk. I spent all day carrying shopping bags for Fujiko.”

“You weren’t complaining at the time.” Her voice came drifting in from the connecting suite where she was primping. 

“I was in character!” Lupin had already changed into his disguise and was slumped in a chair waiting for the others to catch up. “You know we have to take all this stuff back with us?” 

“I talked to the concierge,” Fujiko said, her voice a little muffled. “He’s shipping it back.” 

Lupin threw his hands in the air. “Great, at least I won’t have to worry about weight limits on the helicopter.”

“Wait,” Jigen asked, “what helicopter?”

The thief waved him off. “It’s not working tonight, so don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry—“

“This is all about the party,” Lupin insisted. “Tomorrow once we’ve moved into the safe house I will go over the real plan in detail but tonight—“ He pushed himself out of his chair and into Jigen’s space, face hovering just a few teasing inches out of reach. “I need you to focus.”

Jigen allowed the subject to drop; Lupin was right, this party was going to use skills he didn’t really have. And besides, what were a few hours to find out about something that wasn’t immediately important?

As eight o’clock approached Jigen pushed the issue far to the back of his mind. The car service sent a gorgeous black limousine polished to a high shine equipped with a driver in a sharp cut uniform and a stern bland face. To a man used to tootling around in the cramped front seat of a Fiat, this was a little nuts. He wasn’t going to lie, arriving in a limo driving up a long winding drive to a magnificent house on a foreign shore made Jigen feel like a big shot. Oh sure, he had been in limos before on his previous boss’s dime but this car was supposed to be his, or rather Dirk Eastwood’s. 

The limo came to a gentle stop on the tiled driveway. Jigen had to stop himself from reaching for the door; he was a fat cat now and that was the driver’s job (Jigen was ashamed that he didn’t even know the guy’s name.) He exited the limo, handing over a twenty-dollar tip per an earlier instruction from Lupin. The unnamed driver thanked him for his generosity. 

Jigen turned his gaze to the modern house before him, now was the real test. He took in a deep breath and exhaled. He had doubts about his ability to perform but Lupin trusted him to do the job and Jigen had never let him down before.

“Dirk Eastwood,” he told the heavily muscled bouncer at the door. The guy scrolled through the list on his tablet and nodded. 

“Welcome.”

It was showtime.

Jigen had less than three hours to locate his targets and steal their palm prints. It seemed like a task easier said than done; the house was crowded with men and women from the upper crust mingling and dining on tiny hors d'oeuvres. As per the plan, the four of them had arrived at staggered times so Jigen was the last to show up; the others already had a head start on him. He despaired that he was ever going to find these _Irukandji_ guys when he literally bumped into Yim.

“Uh, sorry didn’t see you there,” Jigen muttered, feeling very foolish. 

The shorter man just shook off the slight. “I was not paying attention.”

Jigen already had his hands in his pockets so all he had to do was thumb off the top of the spray and coat his palm. He wasn’t as slick as Lupin but it would get the job done. He held out his hand. “Hey, Dirk Eastwood.”

Yim stared at the offered hand with a frown, then sighed as if he remembered that it was a Western gesture. He accepted it and Jigen got what he needed. “Yim Jianyu,” he said, paused then said: “Jianyu Yim.” He had been dealing with Birmingham and Kyrkos for so long that he had trouble remembering the pleasantries required when dealing with others from the West. To be fair, it was not just the West he had trouble with; he was considered quite rude in his own country as well.

Jigen took the other’s behavior in stride, putting his hands back in his pockets. Maybe he could peel off the gel without being seen. “You don’t seem to be having a good time.”

Yim wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like crowds, they don’t agree with me. In fact, you are the first to greet me all evening.”

The gunman laughed. “You aren’t exactly the most approachable guy.”

Yim did not seem offended. “And what do you do Mr. Eastwood? That is the sort of thing you are supposed to ask, yes?” The guy seemed to have a very dry sense of humor.

“I work in sales for Dyna-con,” Jigen replied, trying to remember his cheat sheet. 

“Do you work with any of the engineers?” Yim asked.

“Not really, mostly with the money men.”

“Oh.” Yim actually looked disappointed. Jigen saw any interest in the conversation that Yim had extinguish. “Excuse me, I need to speak to our host.” With that Yim pushed his way past Jigen, melding into the crowd.

Well, that was awkward. Jigen ducked out of the main room to a part of the hallway that felt more secluded. With one quick gesture he peeled off the gel hand then slipped it into a small bag pre-labeled “Yim.” One down two to go. 

Jigen had already eaten before coming to the party but headed for the food anyway. From his experience when you wanted to find someone at a party they were usually hovering around the grub. It took him only a few moments to discover that his plan had a serious flaw: there were caterers wandering around with all the delicacies. This just wasn’t his scene. Give him a seedy bar and Lupin’s or maybe even Goemon’s company and that was enough for him. 

“Are you looking for someone?”

“Jesus Christ.” Jigen turned around to find Achillos Kyrkos lurking behind him. 

“I did not mean to scare you,” the big man said. He leaned back against the wall stretching the fabric of his suit jacket in a way that was familiar to Jigen.

“Are you packing?” Jigen asked.

Kyrkos laughed, patting the small budge few would have noticed. “American, hey?” he said, as if Jigen being American explained everything. “I carry a Kahr PM9 for personal protection.” He unbuttoned his jacket to reveal his holster. “Do you carry?”

“Not tonight,” Jigen replied. That wasn’t true but he didn’t want this guy to know he was armed. “I’m a Magnum man myself, model 19.”

“Sometimes called a peace maker’s gun, right?”

That launched a long conversation about firearms Jigen found himself enjoying. He had to remind himself every once and a while that Kyrkos was a scumbag or else he might feel bad about robbing him. They had been chatting for quite a while when Birmingham came in to interrupt. 

“Excuse me Mr—“ the look on Birmingham’s face reminded Jigen of a little girl examining a bug. 

“Eastwood.”

“--Eastwood but I require the use of my colleague for a while.” Birmingham failed miserably at being gracious. 

Jigen ignored the slight, coating his palm surreptitiously in his pocket; he only had one more chance to get Kyrkos’ print. “Interesting conversation, I hope we speak again soon,” Krykos said, offering his hand.

Jigen grasped the other’s palm grateful he didn’t have to come up with an excuse. Kyrkos gave him a sincere smile before allowing Birmingham to escort him out of the room onto the moonlight patio. With some time to himself Jigen mingled with the other guests, creating the illusion that he actually gave a crap about the party. 

It was a quarter after ten when he got back to the task at hand. He still needed Birmingham’s print but considering the other man’s dismissive attitude Jigen didn’t think he was going to get it. He decided to reconnoiter with the others and devise a plan.

He found Goemon in a heated discussion with Yim over something near one of the pools. He approached with caution and got close enough to hear: “The so-called ‘bushido system’ that you honor so much was created in response to a society that no longer needed its hired thugs.” Jigen turned right back around; he was not getting involved in that mess. Maybe he’d have better luck with Lupin or Fujiko. 

He explored the rest of the house, ignoring modern art that he didn’t care for and other partygoers he had no interest in. He was glad that they were leaving in less than an hour; he was starting to get bored. Then he spotted them: Fujiko and Lupin looking perfect in their disguises, deep in conversation with Kyrkos and Birmingham. Apparently the real estate mogul had no time for Jigen but he certainly had time for a Countess and her valet. Fujiko was stunning in her white silk gown with the emeralds she had stolen around her throat. Kyrko’s eyes were fixed on her chest as she laughed at some clever bon mot. Jigen expected her to have the same entrancing effect on Birmingham, but the gentlemen’s attention was elsewhere.

Jigen stayed out of sight, observing the situation. Birmingham stood close, much too close to the disguised Lupin, his smile soft and his eyes lidded. If he strained, Jigen could just hear the conversation:

“You must find such work tiring.”

“Not at all Monsieur.” Lupin laid on his accent thick. “I find assisting the Countess to be fulfilling and challenging.” 

“You must have an awful lot of talents for such a young man.”

Oh god, seduction was Birmingham’s intent. Jigen had to silently count to ten to prevent himself from racing over and punching the guy in the face. Lupin flirting was something he could usually handle but this Birmingham guy just pissed him off. 

Music and the other guests’ low murmurs drowned out the rest of the conversation. Damn, just what was going on over there? Birmingham whispered something into Lupin’s ear, his hand resting on the thief’s lower back. Lupin turned his head both to listen and to arch the line of his neck. It looked like something was going down. Fujiko was distracted by Kyrkos and couldn’t see what was happening. 

Birmingham led Lupin away from the others, turning down a hallway. When Birmingham’s back was turned, Lupin looked over his shoulder and flashed Jigen all five of his fingers. It was a signal, five minutes to come get him. Jigen let out a little sigh of relief; this was a mark and Lupin knew that Jigen was there, was including him in the plan.

Jigen hung back, following his boss and the jerk hanging off of him at a discreet distance. Birmingham opened a door to a bathroom, pushing Lupin inside before shutting it tight. Jigen approached the door, listening for any noises. They were muffled but it didn’t sound like Lupin was in trouble. Yet. 

Under other circumstances Jigen would have just counted down the minutes himself but in his current state of agitation he knew he’d jump the gun. He took out his phone and set the timer. One minute, two minutes and the sounds inside took on a distinct and heated tone. Jigen sucked in a breath; it was going to be okay he just had to be patient. He could do this, stare at the wall and not think about what Lupin and Birmingham were doing in there.

He could think about smoking or cleaning his gun or the vacation and not let his mind drift to Birmingham touching Lupin, kissing him or anything else that Jigen would want to murder him over. Maybe he should have left the Magnum at the hotel.

Three, four, only one minute left to go. 

Jigen watched the seconds tick by, glad that no one else had come this way. If he couldn’t control his temper well, he didn’t want any witnesses. One second, done. He was not leaving Lupin in there any longer. Jigen pounded on the door with his fist. “Mr. Louvel, the Countess needs you.”

Several curse words and something shattering later, Lupin opened the door looking disheveled. From behind him, Jigen could just make out Birmingham zipping up his pants. What the--

Lupin pushed his way into Jigen’s space, slamming the door behind him. In just that brief second Jigen saw a look of absolute fury on Birmingham’s face. “Come on,” Lupin whispered, leading Jigen away. Once they were away from the bathroom and any witnesses Lupin said, “Thanks, he was getting a little handsy.” 

“ _He_ was getting handsy?” Jigen sputtered in shock. “Why the hell were his pants down?”

Lupin grinned, pleased with himself for giving a blue-blood blue balls. “I put a tracer on him.”

What kind of idiot did Lupin think he was? “Where?” Jigen asked.

Lupin told him where. Jigen’s face flushed red, even through the mask.

“Wait, wait, you actually—“

“Yes.”

“Wouldn’t putting it—“ Jigen made a gesture with his hand like he was jerking a penis—“on that have been easier?”

“Yeah, and the next time he—“ Lupin copied Jigen’s jerking off motion but faster, “which will probably be in the next few minutes—he would have found it.”

Jigen nodded, actually impressed. Lupin could be a genius sometimes, a perverse genius but a genius nonetheless. “So what’s the plan, boss?”

“We meet with the others and get out,” Lupin ordered. 

The evacuation went smoothly, as before at the marina there were no witnesses. The four of them met in the predetermined bedroom with the large window; Lupin opened it wide with no problems. From his jacket interior he pulled out a small anchor with a line attached and with a few quick movements, secured it to the ledge the rope dangling to the ground. The gang was all experienced with repelling and made it down safely. The only hiccup had been Fujiko’s silk gown, which after many reassurances that yes Lupin would help catch her and no he wouldn’t look up her dress she climbed down as well.

They crept along the edge of the house to the garden where nestled among some high bushes was the Dussenberg SSJ. When they had all piled into the car, Lupin glanced at the time. It was precisely eleven pm. The master thief smirked, waving a hand toward the house they had just vacated. “If you look closely we might see the damage from here,” he said. He put the car in gear, winding it down a dark narrow road. 

“What did you do?” Fujiko asked. 

“I just sent a little present they should be getting any second now—“


End file.
